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[笑话] 笑话五则

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笑话五则

  (1)愤怒的狗

  当服装店经理吃完午餐回来时,他发现店员的手包上了绷带,没等他开问,店员告诉了他一个非常好的消息。

  “猜猜看发生什么事了,经理”店员说,“我终于把那套一直压在这儿的难看透顶的西装卖出去了!”

  “不是那件糟糕透了的,粉红带蓝条的双排扣套装吧?”

  “就是那件。”

  “太棒了!”经理叫道,“我一直以为我们无法处理掉那件怪物西装了,那是我们进的最难看的东西了。噢,对了,你的手怎么了,怎么缠上了绷带?”

  “没什么大事,”店员说,“当我把那件西装卖给那个家伙以后,他的导盲犬扑上来狠狠地咬了我一口。”

  (2)愤怒的强盗

  小商店的主人半夜里被一个强盗从床上拎了起来,强盗手持利刃,恶狠狠地威胁道:“把钱都交出来。”

  小老板委屈地说:“实在没有办法,昨天晚上您的同行已经来把钱都拿走了。”

  强盗气愤地吼道:“你为什么不把门锁好。”

  (3)风流

  化装舞会前,太太忽不适,便叫丈夫单身赴会。稍后,太太自觉好了点,便换上一套丈夫从未见过的时装,驱车也去参加舞会了。刚进门,太太便看见丈夫与其他女人打情骂俏,不禁妒火中烧,决定试探一下丈夫。

  她走到丈夫身旁,娇声媚气,投怀送抱。最后还引诱他到后花园去,尽情风流。到了午夜,当大家将要脱下...

 (4)爆笑英文笑话
  Two avid fishermen go on a fishing trip. They rent all the equipment: the reels, the rods, the wading suits, the rowboat, the car, and even a cabin in the woods. They spend a fortune.

  两个殷切的钓鱼爱好者要进行一次钓鱼之旅。他们租了一切所需的器材:鱼线盘,钓竿,浅水服,小船,汽车,甚至一间林中小屋。为此,他们花了好多的钱。

  The first day they go fishing, but they don't catch anything. The same thing happens on the second day, and on the third day. It goes on like this until finally, on the last day of their vacation, one of the men catches a fish.

  第一天去钓鱼,他们什么也没钓到。第二天和第三天也是如此。直到最后,在他们旅行的最后一天,其中一个人钓到了一条鱼。

  As they're driving home they're really depressed. One guy turns to the other and says, "Do you realize that this one lousy fish we caught cost us fifteen hundred dollars?"

  回家的路上,他们都感到十分沮丧。一个人对另一个人说:“你发现没有?为了钓这条倒霉的鱼,我们花了1500块钱?”

  The other guy says, "Wow! It's a good thing we didn't catch any more!"

  另一个人说:“噢!幸亏我们没有钓到更多的鱼。”

  (5)  你以为你是谁?

  The bus was crowded, and as one more man tried to get on, the passengers wouldn’t let him aboard.

  公共汽车上很挤,当又一个人还是试图上车时,乘客们不让他上。

  “It is too crowded, “they shouted.” who do you think you are?”

  “车上太挤了,”他们喊道,“你以为你是谁?”

  “I am the driver.” he said.

  “我是司机!”他说。
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